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24-08-2022 | Frank Jansen

The are-you-an-autist-on-the-bike self test

Cyclists are a little bit special, everyone knows that. But some cyclists are crazier than others. How autistic are you? Test it yourself!

1. A route should never cross itself.

A. Obviously not
B. What nonsense!
C. I try to avoid it, but sometimes I can't

2. The position of the valve at the front and rear wheel is the same when the bike is on the ground.

A. What are you talking about?
B. Obviously
C. Thought about it once, but no, that's going too far for me

3. Do you have a particular policy on Strava for giving kudos? For example only kudos with title, or only above 50km?

A. Yes I do and I adhere to it (fairly) strictly.
B. Yes indeed, but I often deviate from it.
C. No / I don't use Strava / never give kudos.

4. Do you often ride set training courses?

A. Almost exclusively.
B. Rarely/never.
C. Regularly.

5. You get home with 79.1 km on the clock....

A. A short ride around the house. We need to make that 80.
B. I put it in the barn. Tomorrow is another day.
C. If I have time, I'll make that tour of the neighborhood.

6. I always have to ride a certain number of miles per week/month/year.

A. A nice goal that can be motivating, but I often deviate from it.
B. Yes, and I'll do almost anything to meet it.
C. No way, I cycle for fun.

7. If I take a picture of my bike, I will abide by the unwritten photo rules. That is, taken from the drive-side, chain on the outside, crank arms horizontal, water bottles out and so on.

A. A little.
B. Absolutely.
C. Really not.

8. Do you ever engage in things like the Eddington number, coloring tiles and ticking off communes?

A. Sure!
B. Started once but never seriously pursued it.
C. No / never heard of it.

9. Riding the same route in 2 directions when not necessarily needed....

A. Not done, don't do it.
B. I don't see the problem.
C. Can be done once in a while.

10. When it comes to bike aesthetics, there are quite a few unwritten rules. For example, always have two identical tyres/bidons, handlebar tape and saddle should be the same color, valve caps are not done, tire logo by valve, etc. Do you follow these rules?

A. If it suits me.
B. (almost) 100%.
C. Rarely / never / I don't care.


Question 1, 4, 5, and 9 : A=3, B=1, C=2
Question 2 : A=1, B=3, C-2
Question 3 and 8 : A=3, B=2, C=1
Question 6, 7, and 10 : A=2, B=3, C=1


10-16 points: They don't make fun of you. You ride because you like it and are very little concerned with peripheral issues. Keep up the good work!

17-23 points: You tell yourself that having fun is paramount on your bike, but you still let yourself get riled up sometimes. Look around you on the bike more often.

24 points or more: You're a cycling autistic in optima forma. Don't you get in your own way?

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